Five Xmas Gifts You Shouldn’t Be Able to Buy on Amazon (But Can)

1. Uranium

What do you buy the Bond villain who has everything?

They say…

We are always in compliance with Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations.

2. Large Bag of Bones

For when a *small* bag of bones just won’t do.

They say…

Life-size skull, humerus, hand (on wire), hip bone and sacrum (tail bone). Also contains a foot, lower jaw, clavicle, ribs, vertebrae, arm and leg bones in various sizes from life-size to mini. 4th quality bones may be imperfect, discolored, unfinished, or have missing hardware.

3. Ninja Grappling Hook

Ninjas: notoriously hard to buy for at Christmas.

They say….

Specially designed grappling hook folds down for compact and easy carrying. With a few twists the 4 carbon steel talons can be locked into position assuring a safe assent. Best yet, it is rated to over 800 pounds and comes with 33 ft. of tough braided nylon rope.

4. Wolf Urine

Nope, me neither.

They say…

Great for photographers, gardeners, hunters and wildlife enthusiasts.

5. Roswell Soil Sample

As with any real estate, this soil sample is all about location, location, location.

They say…

Red colored soil sample collected from the 1947 famous UFO crash site in Roswell New Mexico. Small plastic bag containing soil sample attached to a Certificate of Authenticity.

  • Jon Henshaw says:

    Richard, that’s hilarious. Nice finds.

  • John Cronin says:

    Good finds indeed and nice idea! Worthy of some associated revenue 🙂

    How do they collect litres of wolf pee anyways??

  • Not a ninja says:

    I have the grappling hook

  • Mark says:

    Peletted lion urine has been on sale in my local garden centre for some time. The idea is that it should scare off local cats as they think some big mother has marked out the territory. Maybe the wolf pee is supposed to work in a similar way.

  • //:=] says:

    Um so if Myth Busters has taught me anything it is that these wolf and other types of weird pees are synthetically made and are identical to “the real deal”

  • Andy says:

    Step one: collect urine.
    Step two: ??????
    Step three: profit.

  • Womagrid says:

    I tried to buy some uranium ore. Amazon said no (UK shipping). It turns out that the supplier has no issue with shipping to the UK but Amazon disagrees and seems unwilling to update its information. The irony is that prior to the rejection of my order, I had no idea of the refinement process for uranium ore. It was Amazon’s rejection of my order that prompted me to research the subject in order to determine whether the supposed threat was realistic.

  • Patrick says:

    Our garden center in North Carolina sells a concoction of (we think) cougar urine and pepper oils that we have found effective for stopping deer from eating our flowers and vegetables. With eradication of natural predators, the local deer populations are exceeding the food supply in undeveloped areas and the deer are foraging in neighboring suburban yards.

  • Hilarious finds! I was particularly interested (for obvious reasons) in the Roswell soil sample. I wonder what the certificate of authenticity says? Probably something like “We confirm this soil originates from the original Roswell downed Alien Craft (just off TW Road NM) care is required to be exercised with small particles in the presence of minors and should not be left unattended due to the Alien nature of the contents”

  • Barbara says:

    I have a bottle of Panther Pee to ward off deer from filling themselves to bust on my garden. wonderful stuf. But I understand it is really wold urine, collected in zoos through washing down the enclosures and then reconcentrating it to eliminate the water. Just for those who were wondering!!!

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